Loggybook 1

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.”
W. C. Fields

Hello Loggy Book. Me so sad you not here. Me have soo much to tell you. Me do as we talked about and traveled to see The Wizard. Everyone knows he can answer anything. If he can’t save us then no one can. Me feel very small when talking to him but he is great man and he is very nice and super super old. Did you know he live for over two thousand years? Me was so surprised to learn this. Me think he look eighty at most. Me wonder what me will look like at eighty. Will me perfect ass sag? Me fear it might so me need to get good doctery person to make me stay firm. If me ass get saggy then me not have anything to be happy about. Even snorting poofy people will not feel like happy place joy joy. Me wonder if me pets will stay with me when me get saggy and sad. If they try to leave me will be forced to poof them and then keep them in a jar. Wizardyman tell me to send me pets away to do something for him and he give me shiny metal egg. He tell me to go and find the professor, the lion, and the snake. Finding them was easy. The snake and the professor always travel together and act like they is friend and enemies and friends again. Me like the professor, he is furry like a nerf but he talks like his big daddy. The snake was supposed to be mean but he was real quiet. Maybe that is why they call him the snake. Me not sure if me like him or not. The lionis hard to tell. It could be one of three people but me think me know him right. He get loud in fight and scream like little girl and make me giggle and fall down. Me like the giggle fall down sickness. Me wish me could fall down all time and pee pants. Me watch shield ladies pick fight with ossie people and me sneak up and get close to lion. Lion not too bright. He not see me but me get seen and say hi. Me tell everyone of bad things and bad people and bad stuff and bad food. Me not sure why me tell them about bad food but food was bothing stomach. Me then see bad spider and pick it out of little old man head. Me notice evil replicating faker person soldier and me smash him to bits. Me gets yelled at by professor and me smile and be nice and give away fakerhead. Me then use shiny stone the way the wizard told me and we went poof. Everyone get mad at me when building rip and tear and fall down. Me want to laugh because it was fun and loud and made me feel giddy. Me get sad because everyone mad at me and telling me me crazy and me not like being called crazy. Me good girl. Me not crazy girl. Me not bad girl. Me good girl. Me smile and everything alright. We travel lots and play with clouds and make thunder and stuff. Me then gets to go on boat and see ocean. Ocean smell funny. No amonia. No flying sharks. No evil points. Lots of little ewokie people. me feel odd and go throw up. Me then hear lion scream like little girl. Me trip over big hairy man with shiny blade. Me gets up and run to see screamy lion and me sees lots of mushydogs. Me gets out me wirlywavegun and me starts poofing mushydogs. Me sees friend getting eaten and me shoots mushydogs on him with stun to save him. He gets odd look in his eyes and fall downs under shield as mushydogs eat more of him. M not like mushydogs and mushydogs not seem to be hurt by stun. Me gets angry but fight is over and we go to pretty city with pretty people with pretty clothes. Me likes pretty city pretty people pretty clothes. Me go have fun and take everyone to underworld.


Lord help us if Jar Jar Binks and her ever have a conversation.

Loggybook 1

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