Professor’s Log: Let’s be pirates they said. It’ll be fun they said.

“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

Wanna hear about my first day as a pirate captain, scourge of the seas? Tough. You’re going to hear about anyway. We faced our first battle under my command, and it’s lucky any of us survived. We were on our way to the Isle of the Black Ones when we saw a Stygian galley on the horizon. It would have been smart to just keep going but there had been some grumbling among the crew and I figured, a good battle and a little blood would be just what we needed to build morale.

As we closed on the vessel, it became apparent that it was about three times our size, but why quibble about the odds. We’d been in some pretty bad fights. We’d gotten this far hadn’t we? I ordered us up to ramming speed and we had at them. I think the best part was the look on the enemy captains face when he realized, “My god, they are that stupid!”

With our prow safely embedded in their hull, we boarded. Blades and blood were everywhere, the air filled with the sound of the dying and the soon to be dying. It was chaos, and then it got worse. Just as it looked like we were starting to lose, I saw a scaly green paw come over the rail. The Deep Ones joined the fray. I didn’t know whether they were there to help us or eat us, and I didn’t have time to care. With them in the mix, attacking men and women on both sides, the tide of battle slowly began to turn.

After more hours of battle than I care to count, we managed to repel the rest of the Old Ones and capture what was left of the Stygian crew. In the course of the battle, Kinfe was seriously hurt. Before I could help him, Steve yelled something about him betraying us and tossed him over the side. Corey tried to rescue him with his TK, but as soon as he got him back on the deck, Steve chopped Kinfe’s head off. Steve was pretty hard to argue with when he was alive, now that he’s dead, forget about it.

When all was said and done, what we got for our trouble was a few thousand silver and a bunch of Kushite slaves. One of the non-Kushite slaves turned out to be another world hopper, like us. How the Hell many of us are there? Her name is Molly. She speaks English with a heavy Irish accent, which I rather like. She claims that she was after Captain Marsh. Remember him from back the last time we played pirate. Molly told us that she was going after him when she was pulled into a storm and ended up here. It’s no stranger than the way we ended up in Hyboria. Until we can figure out what’s going on, I’m keeping her with me, to keep her safe from the rest of the crew.

To make up for our losses during the battle, we offered freedom to any of the slaves who were willing to join us. There was no shortage of volunteers. It was decided, that several or our crew would get the Stygian ship back to port to be sold, along with any of the slaves that refused to join. The rest of us are back on course for the Isle of the Black Ones. We’ll see if I can get the hang of this captain thing before we get there.



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